In my Once Upon A Time Fanfic, Friendly Shores, Storybrooke has been hit by a botched piece of magic, combining the town with the Enchanted Forest, and throwing everyone into different roles within their stories. Henry is back in New York, Emma is a pirate, Killian is a prince, and Robin is about to the leader of a group of seven interesting characters…

Robin kept his eyes forward, doing his best not to let on that he knew he was being watched. He climbed over a large, fallen tree, planning on taking cover behind it when he found himself surrounded, as two hooded figures emerged from the hollowed-out log.

“Drop the bow!” A voice called out.

Robin raised his hands in the air. “I’m not going to make trouble,” he called out.

“No, you’re not,” answered the voice. “Now drop it and kick it over here.”

Robin slowly removed his bow, lowering it to the ground and giving it a nudge with his boot.

“A little further,” said the voice. Robin tilted his head to the side, then took in a breath.

“Snow?”

She stepped forward, tossing her hood back. “It’s Snowy. And who are you, brother?”

“You’re…you’re…what are you?” he asked, scratching his head.

“What are we?” Snow repeated. “Did you really just say that?”

“In a subjective form and modifying a noun that refers to personage, what is not the proper interrogative,” said Red, doffing her own hood.

“Perhaps if you’d spent more time in class and less time roaming the woods, you’d have known that,” sneered Snow.

Robin looked at her warily. “Very well…who are you, then?”

“Isn’t it obvious? We’re schoolteachers.”

“Schoolteachers?” Robin asked incredulously. “You’re the leader of a group of schoolteachers?”

Snow pulled an arrow from her quiver, nocking it into her bow. “I rarely miss,” she grumbled. “And from this distance, brother, you’re a sure thing.”

“Aren’t schoolteachers supposed to be nice?” he asked in confusion.

“Clearly, you’ve never attended parochial school. And I am being nice. I haven’t killed you yet.”

“Killed me?” Robin looked uneasily from Snow to Red.

“They don’t call her Snowy for nothing,” Red replied. “Ice in her veins, I swear.”

Snow gave her a look that should have frozen her where she stood, but Red wasn’t fazed.

“I think he’s pretty,” she said, stepping forward. “Really pretty.”

“Flirty!” Snow snapped. “We don’t have time for this. The woods are overrun with the evil Queen’s spies, and with George’s men. Rumor has it they may even be working together! We can’t trust anyone!”

“You never trust anyone anyway, Snowy,” Red pouted. “I say we bring him back to the house,” she trailed her fingers down Robin’s arm.

Snow put her arrow back in the quiver and stepped forward, grabbing Robin’s bow off the ground. “Regina won’t want any strangers nosing around.”

“Sleepy’s got things under control there,” Red insisted. “Besides, he’s got a nice, trustworthy face. And shoulders,” she purred.

“Wait! Have you seen Regina?” Robin asked. “I need to find her.”

“You a friend of The Bandit Queen?” Snow’s eyes narrowed.

“Yes! Yes, I am.”

Snow gave him a smile, holding his bow out. Robin stepped forward to take it, turning to Red as he did. “From what I understand – ”

His words were cut off as he crumpled to the ground. Snow tossed aside the rock she’d used on his skull and dusted off her hands.

“Come on,” she said to Red. “Let’s tie him up. We can drag him the rest of the way.”

“Cold as ice,” Red mumbled under her breath.

You can read Friendly Shores at Fanfiction.net or on Archive of Our Own (AO3).