This is a hard post to write. Here’s the truth of it:
I fell out of love with my book.
I’ve had it happen before, but not to this degree. There’s always a certain waxing and waning process when it comes to books, and after x-number of revisions, you do get a little weary at times.
And as a writer who’s a living, breathing human being, you have to be careful to never discount the impact of your own damn life. Mine has been tumultuous lately, and it’s taken a toll. My YA novel will be out in bookstores (under another pen name, of course) and that’s eating a serious amount of time. Book two to that series is in edits and that’s eating a ton of creativity. Not to mention the books I have on the back burner.
Yeah, let’s not mention them. Because I have no idea how they’re happening right now.
I had planned to finish Earthsinger in September. That deadline came and went. So did October, and November, and here we are at year’s end and I look at my doc file and think – dammit. George R.R. Martin can get away with ignoring promised deadlines. I can’t.
I just wasn’t in the headspace for this book. But I’ve shot myself in the foot, you see. This book is part of series. I have to write this book, and the book after. And I want to. This is such an epic story and the ending will blow you out of the water – and I love, love love all these people and their individual stories and the way they all fit together to save the goddamn world.
So this last weekend, I decided to look at my book as what it really was: a love story. Not just about the characters – but about me and the page and the words upon it. About the things that tie us – me and the book – together. I revisited the moment that it first reached out to me, wisps of thoughts and bits of dialogue and visions of flashing eyes and curving lips and firm but gentle hands cupping a trembling jaw.
I reread what I’ve written (two full books and about 3/4 of a third book) from start to finish and started living and breathing this story again. I have a small window while my last edits on the 2nd YA book are being reviewed, and I need to use it to bring my love back to life.
And so I did. I’m not going to promise you a date yet, but I wrote this weekend. I wrote a lot. And I fell in love all over again as the story and I took a journey together.
We’re both the better for it.