#OnceUponATime #Fanfic Friday – Neverland Interlude


My Once Upon A Time fanfic, You Had Me At Malfeasance is a series of one-off’s set in and around various scenes in the show – sort of a behind-the-scenes set of fics. In this chapter, Hook and Emma share a conversation, just a few days after that first, infamous kiss . . .

She pulled herself out of the pool of water, glancing around carefully. It felt good to get the sweat and steam of the jungle off of her, even if it was temporary. She stood, wringing the water out of her hair, and then waved her arms, trying to generate some air flow around her body, in lieu of a towel.

“Keep flapping your arms like that and you’ll end up with an audience of Lost Boys,” Hook said.

She jumped, grabbing her clothes and holding them in front of her as she turned. He was standing a few yards away, with his back to her.

“How long have you been there?” She demanded. “It’s pretty low…spying on someone while they bathe.” She yanked her shirt over her head, then struggled to push her wet legs into her pants.

“Calm down, Swan, I’m only keeping watch for you.”

“I don’t recall inviting you.”

“You didn’t,” He confirmed. “But I wasn’t entirely joking about the Lost Boys, love. They’re not all young children. Some of them are entirely too curious and an unclothed lady – particularly an attractive one – would certainly garner some attention.”

“How did you know I was gone? I thought I was being pretty sneaky.”

“I wasn’t sleeping.”

He left it at that. He couldn’t very well say I was watching you sleep like I do most every night and I watched you wake up and I watched you stretch and I wanted very much to be the reason your back was arching. No, that likely wouldn’t do to mention.

“Well you can turn around now,” she said. He pivoted slowly, raising his brows. He also tried, and quite valiantly, not to look at the way her shirt was clinging to her wet body, outlining every detail of her perfect breasts, including the slightly erect nipples. He rubbed his ear and forced his eyes elsewhere.

“I’ll be glad to get a real bath again, in a place where the air doesn’t feel like pea soup,” She complained.

“Pea soup?” He made a curious face.

“It’s an expression; thick as pea soup.”

“Ah. I’m not entirely familiar with your quaint colloquialisms.”

She gave him a smirk, shoving her hands in her back pockets. He raised his eyebrows in return and they stared at each other in awkward silence.

“We should get back,” Emma said. “Pan would probably love to separate us.”

“If he wanted to do so, he’d have done it already,” Hook remarked. He stepped in, disconcertingly close. “What’s the matter, Swan? Afraid to be alone with me?”

That got her back up. He managed to stifle a smile as she gave him an eyeroll and responded flatly.


To her credit, she stood her ground, refusing to let him intimidate her. He reached out, twirling a lock of her hair in his fingers as he leaned down, putting his lips a mere inch above hers.

“Someday, love, you’ll use that word for all the right reasons.”

She started to say something by way of protest, but he brought his finger to her lips. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it,” he murmured. “That kiss.” He rubbed his finger lightly across her lips, but Emma grabbed his hand, stopping him. She took a step back, doing her best to look like she wasn’t breathing differently.

“It was just a kiss, Hook. I don’t even know why I did it.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “No, you don’t, do you?” He stroked his beard. “Believe it or not, that makes me feel better.”

“Better about what?”

“You. You might not know why you did it, love, but you’re not sorry that you did.”

She turned away, shaking her head. “I don’t have time for you, Hook.” She gave him a dismissive wave behind her back, not even bothering to look back at him as she walked away.

He gave a half-smile to her retreating back.

“Ah, but I have all the time in the world for you, Emma. And I am ever a patient man.”

You Had Me At Malfeasance is available (along with all my other Once Upon A Time fics) at Fanfiction.net.

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